The Dragons Circle
by SkyPilot
Summary: Cullen struggles with his feelings for a young mage destined to become the Hero of Fereldan. Cullen's fate is uncertain when events unfold that will drive him from the tower to hunt down the very woman he loved. Rated for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note: A new little series I'm working on for Cullen. Love him way too much, he demanded for a story being written. **

**All Dragon Age content belongs to Bioware and EA. Thanks to them and all the people that help create such a wonderful story and game for us all to write about.**

Cullen would never forget those devilish golden eyes. They had belonged to a particular nasty Maleficar that had fled from the Templars when he was a boy. The mage had stared at him with a pitiful glare contemplating if his life was worth taking before she faced her pursuers. Cullen never knew what she pondered in her cruel mind, but all he knew was she had slaughter his entire family during her escape from the town's Templars. Blessed the Maker in all his glory but, Cullen found the Maker's irony of fate to be twisted and cruel.

* * *

The Circle of Magi wasn't paradise, but it was home to Mage and Templar alike, despite some disagreements. None of the Templars could admit that they felt at home with their mage counterparts. After all they were there to watch mages every waking hour of the day. It was quite boring.

Cullen did not mind. Occasionally some excitement struck the tower. The most common occurrence was mages attempting to escape. It was nearly pointless at times, while others it was a headache. Especially one typical mage that had given them the slip nearly four times now. Cullen and the other Templars had no idea how the mage had succeeded in his breakouts, but it had become a game for both mage and Templar alike. Most typical days were quiet except for the occasional spell backfiring from students and the mess that went along with it. Cullen didn't have much interest in magic. It was intriguing, but that was all. His attention was always drawn on…

"By the Maker…" Cullen mumbled under his breath as Mir a fellow Templar brother patrolling with him raised a questioning eyebrow to his outburst.

"Problems, Cullen?" He asked in his usual cheerful voice.

Cullen shook his head, "No, just my thoughts wandering too freely. It's difficult to keep them where they should sometimes."

"Cullen you take your duties far too seriously," Mir said with his typical smile he wore from day to day. Mir was a young Templar, perhaps ten to five years younger than Cullen. He was a short man, but broad in his shoulders giving him extra width. Cullen would hate to see anyone try to tackle the man. Being young Mir was not a believer in all his vows. He tended to justify some of his behavior by finding loopholes in phrases or in his own actions. Cullen had to admit behind closed doors many Templars engaged in many things that would be considered in breaking their vows, but as long as no one was caught they all believed they were safe. This type of thinking bothered Cullen. The Maker would not turn a blind eye to semantics.

"I don't take my duties too seriously. I just do them. Anyways, did that mage escape again recently?" Cullen tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, but there was a look to Mir who wasn't ready to give up on Cullen.

"No, he's still locked up in solitary confinement today, but that's not what we're talking about. Come on Cullen there's no harm in fantasizing desires. As long as you don't act on it, right? I mean if it was me-"

"If it was you we wouldn't have vows nor would we have armor."

"So true, mages are lucky. They have robes, easier for a quick roll. Blasted bulky armor that's required to fight mages"

Cullen sighed, "I can't believe I just heard that."

"Well you did, don't get me wrong. I'll kill any one of these mages if any hint of blood magic or other dark arts. They are still people of Fereldan and the woman are…" Mir gestured to one of the young apprentice mages approaching them in the hallway, "…well there's quite the selection here."

Cullen narrowed his eyes slightly as his jaw stiffened. The young apprentice he had gestured to was Neria. She was one of the brightest apprentices in the tower. Most of her free time was spent studying in the library and if she wasn't there she was practicing her skills in the training rooms. She was from elven descent, but Cullen didn't know if she was from the city or if she had originated from the Dalish. In all honesty he hardly talked to her. It wasn't that he never had the opportunity, it was the fact his heart always leapt into his throat. The sad fact was he desired her with all his being. He was ashamed of such feelings, but she was beautiful, brave, and cleaver. She was everything he wanted, except she was a mage. The one thing forbidden to him.

Neria looked at the two with her emerald green eyes with a curious expression. Being an elf she was much smaller than Cullen and Mir. She only stood up to their mid chest level. Cullen felt like he could crush her easily if he ever tried too… _'Bad thoughts!' _He yelled at himself silently while Mir gave Neria a small salute in greeting.

"Where are you off too…?" Mir was trying to remember her name as he looked at Cullen for help, but Cullen was too busy trying to shake evil thoughts creeping into his mind.

"It's Neria," the young apprentice said bowing her head slightly. "I was going to go to the training rooms."

"Oh! Excellent. That's where Cullen and I are heading. We can escort you unless you rather walk alone. No pressure."

"I would be honored to have two escorts. I've known Cullen since I came to the tower. Of course he was new here too, right?" She looked up to Cullen with a twinkle in her eye. Cullen nearly choked on his own breath, but he quickly hid it back acting like he was sneezing.

"Uh…yeah. I, I was much young then." Cullen managed to squeak out before mentally cursing himself again for sounding like an idiot.

Mir seemed to be enjoying the torture Cullen was going through as his smile seemed wider and much more amused than normal. He gestured for the group to continue down the hallway together. Mir asked Neria about her training, while Cullen listened. While they talked Cullen snuck a few glances at Neria. Her body had grown much more muscular over the years. She did trained hard every day which resulted in keeping her body nicely trimmed. Of course that didn't affect her chest area. Her breast looked as lovely and supple as they always had, Cullen wondered if she had to secure them with extra support. Before he could even curse himself Neria caught his wandering eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Well! I uh…did you get new robes?" Cullen said quickly before she realized what he was staring at.

Neria blinked at him with a blank look which nearly made him pass out in embarrassment, but she smiled finally. "Yes I did. I'm afraid one of my fire spells backfired and my clothes were burnt to a crisp."

"I think a heard about that. I wasn't there, but one our brothers said they had to cover you up with the rugs," Mir said with a laugh.

"Yes, it was quite embarrassing. How often does one burn their clothes away? I can't imagine it's often."

"I…I don't believe it…it is," Cullen said with quietly. In his mind all he could think about was who had seen Neria nude. Worst of all it was one of his brothers. It only caused his jaw to stiffen and eye twitch in annoyance.

Neria stopped at the training entrance and bowed to her two escorts before stepping inside to claim a training spot. Cullen and Mir were stationed inside at the farthest corner. Two other Templars guarded the front area and they waved a greeting to them as the relieved their brothers from the back corner. Mir let out a bored sigh as he leaned back against the wall to begin their watch.

"I don't see how you do it, Cullen."

"Do what?" Cullen asked as he kept his gaze on Neria who had claimed a training spot across the way from the two. She noticed them both and nodded her head to them in acknowledgment.

"I can tell you like her and before you deny it, don't worry my lips are sealed. How can you just sit here and watch such a pretty thing? I mean her body is like the perfect fit and those curves," Mir sighed. "How I wish to grab those curves of hers and-"

"Knock it off," Cullen was annoyed now. He didn't view Neria as some sexual fantasy like Mir did. She was much more than that. She was a woman he could peruse and then make his wife if she wasn't a mage. Outside of the tower he was most certainly have claimed her as his own now, but a mage…that was impossible.

"You say that now, but come on. Don't tell me you don't want a piece of her?"

"Mir, by the Maker would you shut up already and do your job? I don't want anything from her. She's a mage and I'm a Templar. I watch her to make sure no demons take over her or she isn't dabbling in something sinister. There's nothing else then that."

Mir finally got the point and didn't say another word. Cullen was grateful he didn't push the issue any further. He silently watched the training grounds. Each apprentice was practicing their magic spells and each spell was crude and sloppy, while some hardly could caste anything. As Cullen watched Neria she had her palms in front of her shut until she opened them. From the inside of her palms a wisp in the form of two butterflies slowly fluttering around her until the two butterflies exploded into tiny little stars. She truly was a beauty amongst the shadows of the tower. Her magic was always enchanting and graceful, even Cullen could appreciate such skill. It was too bad he didn't have the courage to express that to her.

* * *

After a long day Mir and Cullen were relieved of their duties around midnight. Mir left Cullen to raid the kitchens, while Cullen decided to do one last sweep of the hallways. It was late in the night and Cullen didn't expect anyone to be awake walking them unless they were up to something. As he strolled down the dimly lit halls he spotted Neria sitting against the wall on the floor.

"Neria is that you?" Cullen asked in a hesitant voice unsure if she was ok or not.

She nodded her head slowly, "Yeah. Sorry Cullen, I know it's late and we're not supposed to wander the halls. I…just wanted to talk to you. I know you make the final sweep of the halls at night."

Cullen was a bit surprise to find she was looking for him in particular. He took a deep breath and offered her a hand up. He was glad this was happening at night since he couldn't see her as well as he could during the day. It made him feel slightly less nervous. She took his hand when it was offered and he helped her to her feet. He gestured for her to walk with him.

"Is…something bothering you? I would think I'm the last person you would seek out."

"Really? I always saw us as friends."

"Well…I..I don't deny that. I thought you were close with Jowan." Cullen was well aware of her friendship with the male mage. Something about Jowan though didn't sit well with Cullen. He hadn't spotted anything to prove his feelings, but Jowan had begun to act outside his normal behavior. That was usually an indicator that something major occurred for a personality and behavior change, but it wasn't time to ponder that now.

"We are, but this concerns the Templars. Since you're a Templar, well who better to ask?"

"True, but I can't reveal much…it's against-"

"No it's not that. I wanted to ask you if you knew where I came from before the tower. I don't remember my family at all. I don't even know what kind of elf I am. I know I got my tattoos from my parents, but that's it."

"That…is something only the Templar that brought you here knows. I'm afraid he's long gone from this world."

Neria sighed, "Well it was a long shot."

"Why the sudden curiosity?" Cullen asked in a kind tone.

"It's dangerous not knowing yourself, no? I want to learn everything I can."

"True…" Cullen still found it odd she was suddenly dwelling into her past. Neria wasn't the type of mage to really care. She wasn't the social type either and tended to keep to her studies pressing forward and never looking back. "You're not telling me something."

Neria had a grin across her face, "Am I that transparent?"

Cullen couldn't help but chuckle lightly, "No. I'm just good at noticing things."

"I suppose you are," Neria let out a sight. "I'm to go through with the Harrowing in a week from today."

"Ah…" Was about all Cullen could say at the moment. The Harrowing was a rite of passage for mages. When apprentices were chosen they are tested to see if they can resist demons. If they pass they become proper mages of the tower. If they don't than they are killed. As they walked Cullen could see the news of her Harrowing was an honorable one, but it also was a frightening one. He understood now why she wanted to understand more about herself. She wanted to be prepared for the demons tempting her. "Hey you'll do fine. You're one of the most talented apprentices here. Continue your studies and you'll be ready for the Harrowing."

Neria only nodded her head to him and remained silent through the rest of their walk. Cullen had no idea what he could say to make her feel better. He hated seeing her in such distress. When they approached the apprentice quarters Neria bowed her head in thanks to Cullen.

"Neria, wait," Cullen said quietly as he walked over to her. "Give me your hands."

Neria was a bit surprised by the request as she stared at him wide eyed, but she placesd both of her hands in his grip. Cullen held them firmly with his fingers interlaces with hers. He was trying not to focus on the fact he was touching her, but more on what he was trying to prove. "I saw you cast two butterfly wisps earlier. Can you do that again for me?"

"Yes, but-"

"You'll see. Go ahead."

Neria didn't need to make any hand gestures for the spell. She nearly flexed her hands slightly and two butterfly wisps emerged, one from each hand. They slowly began to flutter their wings into the air their soft glow illuminating Nera's and Cullen's face. When they were eye level with them both Cullen concentrated on his own abilities and suddenly a surge of power flowed from his hands through Neria and dispelled the butterfly wisp spell which caused them to explode in a rainbow of colors showering down upon them both like falling stars. Neria gasped in awe and surprised as she looked at all the colors falling before her eyes. Cullen merely watched her silently before she caught his gaze.

"Neria, you make beautiful magic. You won't become a demon. Your magic comes from you and this is true beasty at its best," With that Cullen released her hands and left her in the fading colors of her own spell breathless.


	2. Chapter 2: Tag, Cullen

**Author Note: Ah ha! I'm not gone. Sorry that all my chapters have lagged in updates. It has been a crazy past few weeks. I was at E3 for one week and then I got a new kitten so I've been running around like mad. Not to mention I started my new job, so I've been running around like crazy. I finally got things settled down to get some stories out so keep an eye out for the Into Series. Enjoy this new chapter and thanks for all the comments and favorites. **

**Remember Dragon Age related stuff belongs to Bioware and EA!**

**Dragon Circle**

**Chapter 2: Tag, Cullen**

Cullen had his fingers pressed on the bridge of his nose with his eyes slightly shut. He was making a poor attempt in ignoring Mir, but so far nothing was working.

Mir was seated on a chair across from Cullen rambling in an attempt to acquire more information on the events from last night. What Cullen really should have done last night was smoother Mir with a pillow, but instead Cullen chose to sleep in hopes Mir would leave the subject alone. Of course Cullen was giving the young man too much credit. As soon as they both had woken up and taken their morning Lyrium, Mir moved in to pester him with what little time that had off before their shift began. Mir had his usual amused smirk across his face as he continued his pestering. "Come on Cullen and explain to me what exactly happened."

Cullen shook his head silently. He had made a bad judgment call in telling Mir what had transpired between himself and Neria. Granted, Mir was his brother in arms so he felt obligated to share in the excitement, but Mir was also the last person in Fereldan he should have told. The man's mouth was constantly spouting and it would only be a matter of time until he spread it through the tower. That wasn't the least of his problems, but Mir also didn't believe his story entirely. Naturally the younger man thought he had swept Neria off her feet and then proceeded to engage in some sort of sexual act.

"Come one Cullen…" Mir said in an almost begging voice.

"Mir there's nothing else to say. I explained the situation in every detail possible," Cullen snapped as he dropped his hands from his face to stare at Mir in his seat.

Mir smirked as he kicked his feet up on a nearby table stand, "I guess you did. There's no way you would be so cranky if you got yourself some action."

Cullen sent him a dirty look before he got to his feet and stormed out the room.

Mir shrugged to himself as he reached for a book on the table to read to kill some time, "Definitely wouldn't be that cranky."

Cullen was storming through the tower cursing to himself. He swore one day Mir's mouth was going to lead him to nothing but trouble and Cullen hoped he just wasn't there to see it. Cullen sighed heavily as his mind moved back to Neria. He sometimes wished there was someone in the tower in the same predicament as him. He felt lost in how he should feel when it concerned the matters of the heart. There were far too many people telling him how and what he should be feeling, but the problem was they all contradicted themselves. Was there even a right answer? Probably, but he was sure he wouldn't like what the answer was. The simplest choice was to stop in his obsession and be done with it. Cullen had tried that route, but he couldn't stop what he felt no matter how much he focused on his tasks and training. His mind already returned to Neria. He sighed again as he realized he had wandered far off from the barracks. He was just about to head back when a voice caught his attention.

"Ah Cullen, just the man I was hoping to see," A tall Templar man said from under his helmet, muffling his voice enough that Cullen had to cock his head to the side to hear him clearly. At first Cullen had no idea who this man. Sure all the Templar's were his brothers, but he didn't know them all. There were even some parts of the tower Cullen had never seen. The man jabbed his thumb under his helmet to loosen his leather straps before he fully slipped the steel helm from his head. Cullen blinked a few times as he realized who the man was. The Templar was known by the name of Tag, whether that was his real name Cullen didn't know. He hardly knew the man, but from what Cullen heard the man was very strict with the mages. There were rumors amongst the Templars and Mages alike that Tag had been abusing a handful of mages. Of course the rumors could have been spread by a few disgruntle mages, but Cullen tended to believe the mages. Sadly it wasn't an uncommon thing for Templars to take advantage of mages. Cullen hoped his own feelings towards Neria weren't taking advantage of her somehow. He pushed asides his thoughts on the matter clearing his voice to address Tag.

"Ah, Tag. Sorry, didn't recognize you for a second. I was a tad preoccupied."

"I see," Tag said as he seemed to study Cullen carefully with his dark eyes. Cullen wondered what the man wanted since he felt uneasy around him. Something about this man he didn't like. "Long night?"

Cullen winced slightly to the question. He wasn't sure if Tag was referring to his time with Neria or merely making a generic comment. He rubbed the back of his neck as he struggled to respond, "Well….I…uh…I guess you can say that. Mir was insisting on talking part of the night, you know how he is?"

Tag nodded his head slightly as Cullen stared at the man hoping he bought his story. There was a tense moment where Cullen thought Tag wanted to say something serious. The man was rubbing his chin, while he muttered something under his breath. What made Cullen even more nervous was Tag's face was difficult to read due to a large scar that ran from the corner of his left eye down to his right jaw. The scar twisted at the corner of the man's mouth deforming whatever expression he may or may not have. After what felt like eternity Tag spoke up again, "Mir does like to talk, but he's lucky to have an understanding brother like you. I only hope more of us can learn from your example." Cullen wasn't sure what to say and only managed to mutter a 'thank you' in response. Tags compliment almost seemed more like a mock in his deep voice, but Cullen decided not to take notice of it. Tag smirked lightly as he continued, "Greagor wishes to speak with you. I was on my way to the barracks before I ran into you. I am to escort you to him."

"Escort?" Cullen looked up questioning as Tag waved his gloved hand.

"It's not what you think. I am to explain some things to you after your talk; I wanted a proper introduction beforehand. We've only been small acquaintance, no?"

Tag gestured for him to follow as they talked. Cullen followed the man's lead, feeling the sweat beginning to form in his hands. He was worried about what all this was about, but for now he mustered his best smile as he kept his eyes focused ahead. "Yes, you're right. You tend to patrol the higher levels. I mostly stick to the training grounds and library."

"Indeed, is there a reason you choose those areas in particular?"

Cullen felt his body stiffen to the question. Why was Tag even asking these questions in the first place? Cullen felt annoyed, but today had been quite stressful enough with everyone giving him the twenty question runaround. "I simply enjoy watching mages growing in their progress. It gives me insight on their personality. A true way to understand someone's style of fighting is the type of personality they have. It also allows me to see the type of spells each mage has been learning and developing."

Cullen watched Tag consider his answer. He was sure Tag would be satisfied by that answer. The truth was Cullen liked keeping an eye on Neria. The library and training area were her favorite places where she tended to be all the time. Cullen wasn't really worried about her magic harming anyone; it was the other Templars he kept an eye out for. He did not want any of them talking, touching, or disciplining her. He felt it was his duty alone and no one else's. It was a selfish thought he had against his brothers, but everyone had their secrets.

"That's an interesting reason," Tag said out loud interrupting Cullen's thoughts. "Have any showed any signs…."

"Of danger? No, I have my suspicions on a few. Not enough to report on, but enough I keep a careful eye."

"Good choice," Tag said with an approving nod. "Greagor will be pleased to hear such dedication from you. Here we are I'll wait here. "

Cullen nodded as he slipped past the man and entered into Commander Greagor's quarters, the door was opened enough for him to squeeze by. Once inside he heard Tag pull the door shut behind him with a load hiss as the wooden boards squeezed shut against the granite doorframe.

"Ah, Cullen. Good timing, have a seat," Greagor said from behind his desk.

Cullen obediently sat down on one of the two chairs in the room. Greagor was armed for his afternoon patrol and was adjusting the last of his straps on his breastplate. He gestured to a parchment on his desk in front of Cullen, "Have a look."

Cullen stared at the parchment for a moment before picking up the sheet. He slowly began to read the words scribbled on the parchment while Greagor finished tightening his armor. Cullen realized it was a list of the mages about to go through their Harrowing. Of course he saw Neria's name along with a handful of other names which didn't surprise him, but he made sure to keep his expression neutral since Greagor seemed to glance at him while he worked on his straps. Cullen was sure the Commander was searching to see if he would react at all to the names. Lucky for him Neria had told him about her Harrowing so he found it easy to keep his face indifference over the names.

After looking over the list of names Cullen noticed that the next column of names were a list of those who were to be made Tranquil. Becoming a Tranquil was another option for mages in the tower, but it was equivalent to castrating the family dog. It was reserved for mages who were considered a danger to themselves and to those around them. It left the mage sterile in the ways of magic along with any all emotions. Personally Cullen found the Tranquil disturbing, the way they spoke in their monotone voices, but he understood why it needed to be done. Some mages were simply a lost cause. Cullen's eyes caught sight of a name he actually knew. Jowan was Neria's friend who was a few years older then she but not as talented. Cullen wasn't surprised that Jowan's name had been listed. There was something about him that Cullen never liked, but he always tried to cut Jowan some slack for Neria's sake.

"Uh interesting list sir…" Cullen mumbled as he pushed the parchment gently back on top of Greagor's desk. Greagor nodded to himself as he studied Cullen for a moment. Cullen held his breath as he wondered why the Commander kept looking at him. Before he felt like he was going to pass out, Greagor turned his attention to the parchment picking it up carefully before storing it away in his desk.

"As you can see we have quite a few Horrowings and I would like you to be on guard for a few of these. Naturally I brought Tag here so he can walk you through what to except. He's one of my most experience men on these matters. Now, do you accept?"

Cullen wasn't sure if his mouth was hanging open in shock or not, but it sure felt like it. He never expected to be chosen for such a position. He wasn't specialized in anything spectacular other then patrolling the tower. A horrifying thought just occurred to Cullen. Perhaps the Commander knew about his feelings for Neria and this entire spectacle was a test to see where his loyalties lay. Either way Cullen didn't have much of a choice. He took in a nervous breath to try to stay calm, but he felt anything but calm. "I would be honored, sir."

"You're a good man, Cullen." Greagor patted him lightly on the shoulder before calling to Tag. "Now I must attend to some business. Tag will explain the rest."

Cullen nodded mindlessly as he followed Greagor out. Tag had his back rested against the stone wall waiting quietly for them both. Greagor mumbled something to Tag that didn't really concern Cullen at the time. His mind was whirling about what to say to Neria or if he should say anything at all. If he had to be on guard for her Harrowing then he would have to….

"Cullen?"

"What?" Cullen shouted suddenly that surprised Tag and himself. "Uh, sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed with the news."

"Ah, that's understandable. It's a dangerous job, but a satisfying one. Much more exciting then patrols in the library. Now, walk with me and I'll explain everything."

Cullen followed Tag down the hall, but he couldn't help thinking that patrolling the library was far more exciting to him than anything in Fereldan, because it had Neria there.

Tag explained the Harrowing in great detail which Cullen had learned already through Neria. She had explained the process to him one night when she was studying the library. While Tag talked Cullen's mind kept working up the different scenarios. Neria could turn into an abomination and then what? Would he have to kill her or would he have someone else do it? Cullen shivered at the thought and it nearly made him throw up right there in the hallway. How did he end up in this situation? Wasn't he angry at Mir only a few hours ago and now he was wondering if he was going to have to kill the woman he loved. Cullen also did not like Tag. The way the man explained things was crude. All he cared about was killing and punishing mages. He continued to tell all the stories about how a mage would turn into an abomination and then he would make the killing blow. It made the bile rise in Cullen's throat as he continued to think about Neria.

"Ah, look what we have here," Tag said in amusement as he stopped under the archway that led to the apprentice barracks. Cullen blinked mindlessly before he realized where he was. He tilted his head around Tag and saw Neria and Jowan talking to each other outside of their barracks. His eyes grew wide when Neria glanced in their direction before she returned to her conversation with Jowan.

"They're just two mages talking…" Cullen said quietly before Tag turned on him. His scared face twitching in either annoyance or rage.

"Just two mages? No, hardly anything but that. They are plotting something, I can tell. Their constant whispers in the shadows and those hunting eyes that woman has. Who knows how many men she has seduced here. She's even an elf, making her twice the whore."

"You're wrong," Cullen snapped as he narrowed his eyes, but Tag merely smirked.

"I see you're not adept in how elves work. Did she get her claws in you?"

"No! I'm true to my vows, thank you very much. Not unlike some people here."

It was Tag's turn now to narrow his eyes, "How dare you accuse me in fornicating with a mage."

"I dare only because the same dare was drawn to me."

"Cullen?" Neria said in a hesitant voice from behind the two Templars. Cullen noticed that Jowan had slipped away when they had begun their argument and it was he who Cullen was truly worried about. Tag on the other hand seemed to have other ideas. He was still raging from his argument with Cullen and in a flash he struck Neria across the face. The full force of his strike knocked her clear into the stone wall with a sickening crack. Blood dripped from Tag's hand as he shook if off as if it was merely a small inconvenience. Cullen was completely stunned as those cold eyes seemed to mock him as Tag turned back on Neria. She was hardly moving before Tag swung another blow against her this time striking her between her shoulders. Tag seemed to almost laugh in enjoyment, his twisted smile plastered across his scared face as he watched Nera's quiver at his feet.

Cullen didn't know what happened, but something in him snapped. His natural instincts to protect the woman he cared for overwritten every teaching he had learned from the Templars. He didn't care if Tag was his brother nor did he care what trouble his actions may bring him, he had to help Neria. Cullen ran towards Tag and Neria and with a balled up fist he struck Tag square in the jaw crushing bone and teeth. Tag fell instantly in a crumble on his back with his mouth gushing blood. His voice gurgled and slurred as he struggled to call for help as he lied helplessly on his back. Cullen shook his fist feeling his hand cry out in pain, but he ignored it. He'd help Tag in time, but first he wanted to check on Neria who was still lying on the floor.

He knelt down to her, "Neria?" He asked quietly as she groaned in pain.

"I'm here…." She managed to say in a quiet voice as she propped herself up on her elbows. She seemed dazed as the gash on her forehead oozed blood. Tag had struck her with his armored hand and the impact seemed to have created a deep gash. Cullen gentle placed his hand against the wound to slow the bleeding. Neria hissed in pain but allowed him to hold the wound. The injury was deep enough that Cullen would have to call a healer in along with one to help Tag.

"I'm sorry…for everything," Cullen said quietly under his voice, but it was enough for Neria to hear him.

She slowly tilted her head enough for her green eyes to stare up to him. Her eyes were so exotic and enchanting that Cullen couldn't help but feel captivated by them. Was Tag right about how elves were able to dig their claws into men and use them? Cullen wondered about it for a moment, but Neria would never do such a thing to him. Her eyes may enchant him, but she was a woman of honor. Not a whore as some seemed to accuse her of.

"It's not your fault," She finally said in a soft voice. "It's just…how things are. I'm a mage and an elf, what rights do I really have?"

It was a sad statement which pained Cullen deeply. He brought his free hand up and gently cupped the side of her face, "Listen to me. You may be a mage, but you're a good person. You do what mages should do, use their power to help people. One day you'll come to see that. As for being an elf, there's nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't have it any other way. Use it to your advantage one day, elves can do many things a human cannot."

Neria stared at him in thought. He could tell she was contemplating what he had said. Being so close to her Cullen had never noticed that Neria had a unique scent. She smelled like morning dew in the open meadows he had played in as a child. It was a nostalgic feeling that made a few tears roll down his face. Neria noticed the tears and opened her mouth to say something, but Cullen raised his hand to stop her. His feelings were far too tangled now to truly continue. Even his shyness was so tangled up in this mess it was virtually nonexistent. He only wanted to enjoy her one last time, for the next may be the end. He pulled her close to his chest to embrace her gently.

"I promise you one day the tower will change…and I will have you."


	3. Chapter 3: Premonitions

Premonitions

Cullen could feel his heart beat against the underlining of his breastplate while he waited in darkness to face the mage. His battle against the mage had been a grueling one. Neither he nor the mage had made much progress against each other. He at least had been lucky enough to injure the mage's legs, preventing a retreat. Another advantage was the mage was nearly drained of any sort of energy. He could feel the dwindled energy waiver in the air; it was like a struggling candle light at the end of its wick. Its life was so close to being extinguished. Of course there were a few draw backs. Cullen had taken a few hits that rendered his left arm nearly lifeless and he was low on Lyrium, but there was a twist to all this. The battle technically was a draw as neither one could really strike the killing blow, but the mage had called out a surprise surrender. Cullen of course wasn't about to refuse the surrender, but he found this behavior suspicious.

The mage slowly stepped out from the darkness weaponless and hood drawn. The figure was short, but they held themselves with dignity as their hallow steps echoed within the darkness. Cullen eyed the figure closely making sure he wasn't about to receive a blast of magic. The figure merely stood motionless before him, not mumbling a single word or moving a single muscle. Cullen wrinkled his nose as he tightened his grip on his sword. He disliked killing, but it was a mage. Where was the harm? They were cruel, twisted, and taints upon the land. This was what he was meant to do, this was what he was raised to do…then why did he feel this way? He felt like his heart was going tear itself apart.

He swung the sword in hesitation stopping only mere inches from the mages head. He had seen them, the emerald green eyes that peered at him with an unseeing gaze. How was it possible that it was she? The woman he had loved in secret? What was he even saying…that was his fate…their fate. He was a Templar and she a Mage. His hands begun to tremble against the hilt of his sword as he shut his eyes. There just was no other way.

Cullen lifted his sword again and swung…

Cullen leapt up from his bed in a cold sweat. His eyes frantically searched the room only to find he was the only one there. With a sigh of relief Cullen sunk back onto his bed, rubbing the sweat from his eyes. It was only a dream, yet the dream felt so real. Perhaps it was a sign or even a vision? Cullen shook his head unsure what the dream meant. What's worst was he was dreaming about striking down the woman he cared very much for. Cullen glanced around a quick moment again before standing back on his feet to search for some Lyrium.

"Rough night?" Mir said while lounging on his bed with his head cocked against his elbow.

Cullen felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end when Mir spoke. He spun around instantly on his heels to face the man "You only now speak up?"

Mir shrugged, "Of course. I thought maybe you'd say something after that violent wakeup call of yours. I didn't want to miss out on it."

"I am not here for your amusement, "Cullen said sharply.

"Noo…" Mir said slowly as he sat up gesturing to a cup near his night stand that was filled with some Lyrium, "But you are being rather peculiar and that makes it amusing."

Cullen ignored his comment as he snatched up the cup of Lyrium, draining the rest of its contents. Mir watched him thoughtfully before deciding it was safe to speak up again. "I heard about what happened the other day."

"Which part?" Cullen muttered as he gently set the cup of Lyrium back on Mir's nightstand.

"Oh, well let me see," Mir tapped the side of his chin. "Apparently you punched Tag so hard you knocked 5 teeth out and broke his jaw. The man can't even speak."

Cullen sighed, though it was a sigh of relief. Cullen had explained the situation already to Greagor, but he had selectively left out certain details and he was sure Tag would express with enthusiasm. Luckily he wouldn't have to worry about that until the healers patched him up. "Well, it was simple disagreement. I let my anger get the best of me. It was a stupid mistake."

"Perhaps, but this disagreement…did it happen to involve a certain mage elf?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I know you, Brother. You know me as well. I may speak a lot, but I never speak of anything that may betray your trust."

Cullen glanced over his shoulder towards him a moment in thought. Mir spoke the truth. No matter how annoying Mir was to him or how much he may complain about Mir. The young man was a good brother. He had kept his secret even if he occasionally used it as a teasing device. "He hit her."

Mir sat up in surprised, moving to the edge of his bed so his feet touched the ground while his hands gripped the sides. "No way, in front of you? I'm amazed you didn't kill him."

"I'm a bit amazed as well, but I shame myself."

"Oh here we go again," Mir let out a snort. "Drop that noble knight stuff, Cullen. You want her and she wants you. Tonight you should just sneak up there and grab that supple body and give it a good…"

"Excuse me," Cullen snapped. "Can we get back on a serious point?"

"Right sorry, I can't help it." Mir got to his feet and slapped his hand against Cullen's shoulder. "Be at peace, Brother. We all go through these rough patches. Besides maybe all this obsession over Neria is just a phase. She's a forbidden fruit so she just seems all the more tempting. More reasons to stay sharp, no?"

Cullen nodded slowly considering his words but before he could retort Mir was already speaking up again. "Of course…that's what you want to hear right?"

Cullen stared at him dumbfounded, "Wha?"

"That's what I thought," Mir said with a smirk as he moved Cullen down to sit down on one of the open chairs. "Cullen, listen you can't help your feelings. You can bury them all you want in those Templar teachings, but it will never fade. It's in your nature as it is in mine. To deny them is to deny your very nature. Is that so bad?"

"Is it so bad?" Cullen repeated with a wrinkled brow, "The Blights…Old Gods. What they say in the old stories is exactly what I fear. It's in our nature to obsess over temptations whether it is power or love. To let these vices run wild will only lead to chaos and pain."

Mir seemed to consider what Cullen said for a moment as silenced passed between them. After what felt like ages Mir spoke up again in a soft voice, "Without those things, our world will not be balanced. It's not our nature we should fear it is our obsession and power we give those obsessions. "

"Well, I never knew you were so insightful, well done," Cullen said as he seemed to stare at Mir in surprise.

"I get lucky sometimes." Mir chuckled lightly as he snatched up the empty Lyrium cup and began tossing it in the air. "So back on point, since you smashed Tag's face I take it a punishment was in order?"

"Aye, though I got off fairly easy. I was suspended from guard duty for a few days. After that I'm to guard the medical ward for a bit until Tag is on his feet. Speaking of guarding, why are you still here?"

Mir balanced the cup on his hand as he answered Cullen, "I'm on the later shift today. Everyone went out for a meal down below. I figured I'd hang around since I was curious about the events last night and before you even ask. Don't worry about the rumors. Their mostly focused on you smashing Tag's face, no one is curious on the reasons behind it."

"Good to know," Cullen muttered as he returned to silence again. He couldn't help but remember the things he had said to Neria. How could he have admitted such things to her? What's worst was he could hardly remember her reaction to his words or the events that followed. On top of that he was dreaming about killing her, two polar opposite feelings. Cullen clenched his teeth in frustration deciding it was best to try and drop the subjects as he returned to his bunk. "I'm going to rest here the rest of the day. Don't feel like obligated that you need to wait on me."

"I wasn't planning to," Mir commented but the younger man flipped the Lyrium cup one last time before catching it. "But nothing much is going on here and a good nap would do me good."

Cullen and Mir both smirked to each other before slipping into their separate bunks. Despite being on suspension Cullen was happy since he wouldn't have to face Neria after the incident with Tag. He had no way to explain what had happen besides the truth which he most certainly didn't feel he had the courage to explain. With a heavy sigh Cullen shut his eyes in hopes to get some sleep.

Luckily no more dreams came to Cullen over the next few days of his suspension. The time away from Neria had eased his mind a bit, curbing his obsession. Today he was walking to the healer's chamber to keep an eye on the mage's there before he was to return to his normal duties. It was mid day, but many of the mages were busy studying for their Harrowing leaving the halls empty and quiet. He gently pushed open the chambers doors and slipped inside. Unlike the empty halls the healing chambers were bustling full of people. The healers were constantly moving through the room, healing and advising their patients. A few others were students trotting after their Masters learning different magical and herbal techniques in the healing arts. Cullen had rarely graced the healing chambers and it took him a moment to take in the commotion.

"Ah, Ser Knight you have arrived," One of the healers said as she wiped her hands on her robes. Cullen turned to the mage recognizing her at once. Her name was Wynne. She was a senior mage in the tower both in rank and in age, but she hardly showed it. She was swift in her approach holding her head high in energy. Her blue eyes gazed at him with an amused look. "I dare say you don't come here often? You seem overwhelmed."

Cullen chuckled lightly, "Just a bit. I'm normally stationed in the training rooms."

"Ah, an equally exciting place, but one that is never consistent in the hustle and bustle," Wynne said as she gestured to the room. "Well at least you won't be bored. Before you begin your duties Tag would like to speak to you. He is position in Templar's section of the room, the area furthest to the left. I will be busy today organizing supplies and mages for our journey to Ostagar, but if you require any assistance you may search for me there." Wynne pointed to the right side of the room where the supplies were being stacked and she bided him a farewell slipping through the crowd.

Cullen watched her leave trying to delay his meeting with Tag as long as possible before he slowly walked to the Templar's area. Tag was sitting on his bunk adjusting the buckles on his gauntlets before his head snapped up at the sight of Cullen. The man stared at him with a stony glare which made bile crawl from Cullen's stomach to his throat. Cullen wasn't exactly scared of Tag, but he worried about how much Tag knew about his obsession over Neria.

"There he is, the hero of Fereldan," Tag said in a mocking voice, throwing his hands above his head. "Where are his mighty steed and his whore on his arm?"

Now it was Cullen's turn to return the glare, but he wasn't going to lower himself to Tag's level. The man was only trying to provoke him into another confrontation. "You summoned me and I have come. What do you want or may I leave and return to my duties? I didn't come here to fight or be provoked."

"Spoken like a true fool. One day you need to drop this shinning knight attitude of yours and open your eyes. No one is perfect or true, not even their devotion to the Maker." Tag stared at Cullen hard expecting a retort but Cullen remained silent fixing his icy blue eyes on Tag. "I'll play your game though. I'm still going to train you so you can stand on duty for the Harrowings."

"Thank you…" Cullen said as he took a step back as Tag got to his feet preparing to leave. "When will we begin?"

"Tomorrow, and every day until the Harrowing."

"Then until then," Cullen bowed his head but Tag didn't move as he seemed to have a devious grin on his face.

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it." Tag grabbed Cullen by his breastplate and pulled him in close. Cullen resisted but Tag had the element of surprise on his side and had kept Cullen off balance as he held him. In a low whisper he spoke, "I know that little antics yours that landed me here is because of that little mage elvan whore . I may not have the proof to report you, but relax I wouldn't do such a thing." Tag said with deep chuckled as Cullen snorted at him. "I plan on touching her in ways that your pretty boy mind could never even dream of. Once I'm through I expect she'll die during the Harrowing."

Tag shoved Cullen back when he released his grip on him and walked away without another word. Cullen watched Tag push through a few of the healers before he pushed open the heavy doors and slammed them shut. Cullen gave an unsettling sigh, but wasn't too disturbed by Tag's words. Mir had warned Cullen about what Tag will threaten and Cullen had already prepared for those words, but they were still quite unsettling to hear out loud.

"I see that went well," Wynne said as Cullen saw her peer around the corner slowly approaching him while she brushed her hands against her robes once again. "Old friend?"

Cullen cracked a grin, "Ha, that obvious?"

"Well his cheery attitude was what gave it away."

"Indeed, but I shall be on guard this time."

Wynne gave him a searching look for a moment on the verge of asking on him to expand on the situation but she seemed to decide against it as she folded her arms over her chest, "Well in the meantime we need a strong back to help left some of these storage crates in preparation for Ostagar."

"I am glad to assist in some lifting, but Ostagar?" Cullen asked as Wynne led the way.

"The king's army is gathering to stop the darkspawn from spreading any further by staging in Ostagar. He has requested a unit of mage's that are to leave in the morning."

"Darkspawn? Hmm I was unaware they had become a problem"

Wynne nodded, "Yes I'm afraid the tower is often behind on information due to our isolation. The threat is greater than some originally thought."

"And is it?"

"It's difficult to say, but I trust in our King. If he believes in this threat, than it is one to take seriously."

Cullen agreed with Wynne as he took this new information into consideration. He would have to ask Mir later to see if he had heard any other information involving Ostagar. One thing was for certain in Cullen's mind. Whatever the threat may be didn't involve himself or Neria so there wasn't much to fret over. She was safe here in the tower under Cullen's watchful eye.


	4. Chapter 4: Committing a Sin Part 1

**Committing a Sin Part 1**

_((Sorry that this took an incredibly long time to update. I had problems with this because Dragon Age 2 came out so I had to reevaluate my direction a little but this caused me to rewrite this chapter over 5 times before I was happy with it. ))_

"Hey, pay attention," Tag snapped just as the side of his sword slapped Cullen against his shin.

The sword bounced off Cullen's armor easily with a loud clank, but the impact shook Cullen down to his bones causing him to yelp in surprise. Tag shouldered his sword glaring at Cullen in annoyance. His jaw quivered in anger.

"I swear you have the worst concentration. Some days you are sharp as an arrow and other's you may as well be a peasants butter knife."

Cullen was rubbing his leg trying to ignore Tag's accusations, but he suppose the man had a point. Cullen's thoughts were elsewhere lately. The night before he had watched their forces march off to Ostagar. Watching mage and templar march off together made Cullen anxious that one day it would be Neria and him marching to war.

"I…don't have an excuse for that. I admit I am distracted," Cullen said as bluntly as he could. He didn't want to betray his feelings to Tag about anything involving Neria. The man would only use it against him.

Tag tapped the side of his sword against his neck as he stared at Cullen in thought. He didn't seem angry, but Cullen could tell Tag was scheming something. Over the past couple of days Tag had pressed him about his feelings concerning Neria, but Cullen kept his ground about it and continued explaining it was merely a day dream and a mans fantasy and nothing more. Naturally this only spurred Tag to continue to pressure him about it.

"Well, knock it off and start focusing. I guess today is a lost cause so we'll pick this up tomorrow. We only have 3 more training sessions anyway," Tag said in a defeated tone.

Cullen didn't say anything as he gathered his equipment up. He bent down to grip the hilt of his sword that he had dropped earlier in his duel when Tag suddenly slapped his hand with the blunt side of his sword for the second time in the day. Cullen yelled out in pain, but Tag merely stood over him unmoved. "Wake up or you're going to disgrace what you've worked all your life to be. Make sure you're here tomorrow early. We have a big lesson tomorrow. Got it?"

"Right, "Cullen hissed between his teeth as he rubbed his hand. He was lucky he had armor covering the area around his knuckles or else his hand would have been broken by now. He was still left with a nasty bruise. He quickly picked his sword up and sheathed it leaving back to the barracks before Tag could inflict any additional injuries to him.

"Hey if it isn't prince charming," Mar said cheerfully seeing Cullen approaching stepping into their room.

Cullen narrowed his eyes at him as he passed by to his bed, "Don't joke around about things like that."

Mar smirked as he rubbed his wet hair with a towel, "Oh lighten up. I'm sure Neria thinks of you as such. You are way too smooth for your own good. All the girls must fall at your feet cooing-"

"Are you intentionally being an idiot?" Cullen snapped. He sighed trying to ignore Mar for now and turned his attention to the long process in unbuckling all his armor. Lucky for him taking it off was much easier then taking it off then putting it on. He was too sore though to move his fingers quick enough, which meant he was going to have to endure Mar longer then he wanted to today.

"We all know you're the one that's an idiot when it comes to speaking to the women in this tower," Mar begun while Cullen remained silent, "I can tell. You start stuttering and rambling before you know it you're blushing like a little boy who just wee'd himself."

"Geez, thanks." Cullen said with a sigh since he was all too aware how he acted around the ladies in the tower, both mage and templar women.

Mar grinned to himself as he threw his towel back down on his bed, "Don't ever lose that innocence of yours, Cullen."

"That makes you sound like an old man. A perverted one, but none the less an old man," Cullen said with a slight grin teasing the younger Templar.

"Maybe…" Mar began to say but his voice trailed off.

Cullen glanced over his shoulder wondering why Mar stopped and noticed Mar staring with a blank look. He wasn't sure what to say, but Mar switched his gaze back to him. "You know before I joined the Templars here I didn't treat woman too well. Heck I didn't treat men too well either. I hated everything around me…it was simple for me to just hate everything rather than try to understand. My innocence's was lost so long ago, tainted by my own family and myself. But I remember a long time ago seeing you in my home town for the first time. That innocence about you opened my eyes. I wanted to view the world as you do with such naive eyes. I wanted to speak to people not as if they were nesciences, but as people earning each other's trust and love. It inspired me enough to work my ass off to become a Templar. Could you believe my luck when I joined the Tower? I worked so hard during my training I was lucky enough to be reunited with you and become your friend."

Cullen wasn't sure what to say or what spurred on Mar's story. While Mar was carefree most of the time it was rare for the younger man to speak about his background to openly. Sure he knew some of Mar's background, but this was entirely new information to him. Cullen could feel himself blush in embarrassment as he struggled for the words to form a sentence.

Of course Mar beat him once again when it came to speaking. He patted Cullen on the back, "I confessed my love to you Cullen! Don't be shy and speak up!"

"Grrrr" Cullen threw whatever armor he had loose straight at him. Lucky it was only a few of the smaller pieces. Mar ran around the room dodging and laughing. Cullen had managed to remove most of his armor at this point, though most of it was now scatted all over the floor. After a few minutes of playful fighting Mar settled down on the edge of his bed watching Cullen clean up their mess.

"Was any of that serious?" Cullen finally said while he cleaned.

Mar chuckled thoughtfully as he tilted his head in thought, "Some of it. I just like breaking the tension. "

Cullen slammed the lid of his wooden chest shut that contained his newly picked up armor, "You're driving the rest of us mad with these wild tales of yours."

"Hey, I do what I can. So what's scheduled tomorrow?" Mar said casually changing the subject.

"Same thing I've been doing these pass days, except Tag seems to be planning something big. He wanted to meet up earlier then we usually do."

Mar's lipped twisted slightly to this news, "Well anything he thinks is big can't be good."

Cullen nodded in agreement as he rubbed his hand where a darker bruise was now forming from Tag's earlier lesson. "I am slightly concerned, but I'll get through it."

"If you say so. I'll try and swing by the area tomorrow. I don't want to miss anything that guy has planned. Just in case you need backup."

"Geez thanks mom."

"Anytime, son," Mar joked. Cullen couldn't help but laugh too. Mar really was a good friend to have and he was thankful that Mar also understood his plight.

Cullen spent the rest of his day resting and sleeping in his bunk. He had been training so hard that it was nice that the rest of his day was free. As he slept his thoughts often wandered to Neria. He hadn't seen her lately, which was probably a good and bad thing for him. He didn't feel so obsessive over her, but somehow he felt even lonelier. Even if they could never be together, being able to see her smile was enough in his world. Cullen still secretly desired her, but those were dreams of a selfish minded man. It was shameful, but he was human. He wished for her with all his heart, but in reality his chances were incredibly slim. Whatever happens in the end, Cullen would always offer his hand to her. The real question was; would she take it?

"Cullen? Hey, wake up," Mar shook Cullen by the shoulder. "It's time."

Cullen sat up in his bed smoothing out his hair, "Time?" He said groggily wondering what time it was.

"Your lessen with Tag is about to start. I was going to watch since I manage to move my patrol around. There's a commotion around the breakfast table today over it. Seems like the whole Tower knows about this match."

Cullen wasn't sure what that meant. Was Tag purposely trying to stir people's interest? Cullen groaned rubbing his head he was still too sleepy to comprehend everything. He decided to push it from his mind for now and go see for himself. He armored himself up and gulped down some fresh Lyrium.

"Let's go," Cullen said as he grabbed his sword on the way out. The pair moved towards the training grounds together in silence. As they walked Cullen did notice there was quite a few people moving in the same direction as they were. It wasn't just mage's, but other templar's who weren't on patrol. Cullen wondered what the big deal was. He was just doing another training day, granted Tag said he had something important today, but to have so many people interests perked he was beginning to make him feel slightly anxious.

A small crowd had begun to form around the training ground floor. The room was huge, so there was plenty of room for everyone, but it seemed more and more people were arriving. Mar's face was serious now as he noticed all the people and he didn't say a single word to Cullen as the pair navigated around the crowd toward the center of the training grounds. Before they pushed passed the last few people Mar nudge Cullen slightly to catch his attention.

"Hey, whatever happens don't give up. I don't like this…Tag is putting pressure on you for something. He's going to try and break you. That guy's methods…"

"Hey," Cullen said cutting Mar off, "Don't worry about it. I know how he is. I won't let the Tower down."

Mar nodded as he watched Cullen move out into the open. '_I know and that's why I'm worried.'_

Cullen joined Tag in the center of the room while everyone continued to mummer as they watched the pair. Tag seemed indifferent to the situation as he stood there rubbing his jaw. His eyes were watching the opposite side of the room as if he was expecting someone who hadn't arrived yet. His eyes never left the spot even when Cullen joined him.

"You may need a shield," He commented continuing to leave his gaze away from Cullen.

"I'll be the judge of that," Cullen replied which caused Tag to respond in a snort of annoyance.

"I'm telling you a fact. But if you want to be a pain in the ass then go ahead."

"Right so what are we doing?" Cullen said shakily trying to conceal the anger in his tone, "Did you call everyone here in hopes to embarrass me? I'm not going to let you hit me again so easily."

"First, we're going to have a little exhibition match. Secondly yes I do hope to embarrass you. Thirdly you're not going to worry about me hitting you since you're not fighting me."

"Then who?" Cullen said in an annoyed tone now. He disliked fighting others even if it was for practice. It annoyed him even more since he wasn't even consented about the match.

"Her," Tag pointed to a group of mages that had began to from the where Tag had been staring. As Cullen's eyes focused, to his horror Neria was stepping out from the crowd towards the training circle with her friend Jowan at her side holding her staff. She muttered something to him before he handed the staff to her and stepped back. Her face seem indifferent to the situation leaving only her emerald green eyes staring straight back at Cullen.

Cullen couldn't stand to look at her in that moment and his head snapped in Mar's direction for help. He could feel beads of sweat roll down his face as he struggled to keep his heart from jumping out of his throat. Mar winced slightly at the intense glare Cullen was given him and he slowly began inching his way towards the shields. Cullen couldn't form any words for Tag and slipped off to meet Mar by the shields. Tag didn't comment as Cullen left, but Cullen could sense the pleasure from the gaze of his eyes as he walked by.

When Cullen neared Mar tucked his head down and spoke in a low whisper so only he could hear him "Plans?"

Cullen checked to make sure no one else was listening in on them before he decided it was safe to speak. "He's been planning this for awhile I bet. He wants to back me in a corner in hopes I'll dishonor myself."

Mar acted as he was shuffling though the shields for one that fitted Cullen to buy them some more time. "Well Tag is full of s-"

"Point being is I truly am backed into a corner…I have no choice."

Mar frowned as Cullen stopped him from moving the shields around. Cullen's eyes seemed to be searching hard for a way out of the situation, but there wasn't one. The fact was he had no choice but to fight Neria. Just thinking about her made him clench his jaw in frustration. He noticed Mar staring at him in silence, seemingly unable to offer any words of support to him. Cullen could tell the younger Templar wanted to help but had nothing to offer. Somehow it made Cullen smile, knowing someone didn't judge him about his love for Neria. He patted Mar kindly on his head as he picked a shield up.

"Mar you're like a brother to me. Don't look at me like that. I'll have to do what needs to be done," Cullen turned to head back to the center.

"You're an idiot. This is going to destroy you." Mar shouted unable to contain the frustration for the situation.

"Maybe…but I think I understood that fate when I allowed myself to fall for a mage," Cullen said glancing over his shoulder for a second. Mar had opened his mouth to respond back but immediately shut it. His face twisted in an attempt to put on his typical encouraging smile but he was unable to and he only nodded in response to Cullen.

Cullen sighed heavily as he turned back around to rejoin Tag. He wasn't going to be able to hold back his skills with everyone watching. What made the situation worst was the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander had both appeared when Cullen had begun to move back to the center of the ring. This meant Neria couldn't hold back too if they were being watched by the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander. The stakes were high, yet Cullen couldn't help but feel a pang of excited. Fighting one on one was intimate and exhilarating. It got the blood flowing and in some cases that very same blood can be spilled. This was about as intimate he was ever going to get with Neria so he would make the best of it, even if he was being used as some pawn in a game. He only hoped Neria was thinking along the same way he was.

Neria stood quietly on her side of the dueling ring with the First Enchanter. They were quietly talking, most likely the rules of conduct and strategies.

Cullen stared at them for a moment before Greagoir, the Knight-Commander joined him and Tag on his starting corner.

"I can't believe I agreed to this…" Greagoir growled as his eyes narrowed right at Tag.

This was the first time Cullen ever saw Tag being flustered. His gaze shifted nervously down being careful in how he phrased his next set of words to the Knight-Commander.

"Well…I understand your concern Knight-Commander but we can also benefit from this match. We can see their power before the Harrowing. That way we know what we're dealing with. Often these apprentices are holding back for our sakes. If they were possessed those chains would be unshackled and we would be ignorant of what powers we would be dealing with. What better to put our more promising Knight against one of their more promising students? That way we can test their limits."

Cullen resisted the urge to gag at Tag's words. That man really knew how to speak his way out of things. The Knight-Commander however seemed to know this too. His gaze remained ever sharp as he now turned his intense gaze on Cullen deciding best to not give Tag the satisfaction and comment on his words. "I'm not happy about this situation, but as it may be Tag is correct, we can benefit from this. You must push both yours and her limits or else this fight will benefit no one. The mages will be able to see the extent of our strengths in this battle, but it's worth the price to stay vigilant and perhaps they will realize how powerful we can be."

"Yes, sir," Cullen responded just as Tag handed him a goblet filled with Lryrium.

Cullen hesitated as he already had some Lryrium earlier, but he suppose he better indulge both Tag and the Knight-Commander and stomach the goblet. He swallowed its contents and it burned all the way to his stomach causing a shiver to run up his spine. He felt a moment where he might throw up since it had been awhile since he consumed such a large amount of Lryrium.

"Just remember not to let your feelings get in the way," Tag whispered as he took the goblet from his hands just as he managed enough will power to keep from throwing up.

"Shut up," Cullen growled in response thoroughly fed up with Tag.

"Good luck, we'll be busy keeping an eye on the mages during this fight too so don't concern yourself with them. Just focus on defeating the woman." Greagoir gestured for Tag to move off the field and they both left for the Templar sidelines.

Cullen took a deep breath and returned his gaze to Neria. She was getting her last bit of advice from the First Enchanter and Jowan before they moved off the field to the mage side. Neria's intense green eyes for the first time met his in battle. Her intense gaze had no emotions left in them unlike all the other times he had looked into him. Neria's gaze had change to that of a warrior meeting her challenger on the battlefield and nothing else.

The room turned deadly silent as Cullen didn't move or turn away from her gaze. The two seemed to be sizing each other up in silence. They didn't even notice when the First Enchanter erected a magical barrier around the field to block any stray spells from hitting the onlookers. The Templar's also added a protection shield so no outside spells could target Cullen during the battle.

'So this is just a taste of my destiny? How often will I meet you on the battlefield like this? Dear Maker I'm truly a sinful man. I've condemned my life to this misery…and accepted it. I will never find love only chaos in this twisted world of mages and templars. But despite that I'll steal what moments I have left with her. I will dance this tune for so long, but one day my vows will break and destroy us both'

Neria's hands shook against her staff as the stone wrapped in the wood near the top of the staff began to glow. Her hand stretched out towards him, "I'm sorry…" She whispered causing Cullen to jerk his head back in surprise as a bolt of lightning erupted from the staff and charged its way towards him.


	5. Chapter 5: Committing a Sin Part 2

The Dragon Circle

Chapter 5: Committing a Sin Part 2

((Finally finished this chapter. Sorry it took so long. There was a lot of things I kept changing around. Anyways thanks for reading and enjoy!))

Cullen felt like time had slowed to a complete crawl around him. Mages and templars alike were cheering and yelling completely caught up in the excitement around the ring. Cullen could sense their heightened emotions along with their intense gazes on him, but all that didn't seem to matter as his eyes locked with Neria's from across the ring. Her silky black hair had whipped around her neck as her body moved to brace the magically energy she was about to release. Her vibrant eyes that Cullen had known for so long were now devoid of any emotions. She seemed liked a complete stranger, but before Cullen could even react to her unblinking gaze he made a small gasp as something in the air seemed to twist and change the energy unnaturally. It was certainly magic, but it was a magic unlike anything Cullen had every felt or even dealt with before. The magic was old almost foreign in its nature. The energy certainly wasn't coming from Neria; this magic was coming from an outsider as it swirled and change before Cullen's eyes.

"_Your heart will be crushed…" _an ominous voice said booming in Cullen's mind. The voice was deep with a hint of a deep rumble near the end of each word, "…_your mind destroyed, and a vision will drive you to the brink of insanity. Only in your darkest hour, summon me. The circle will become complete and thus it will be destroyed." _As the voice began to fade, Cullen saw a pair of two golden eyes within the darkness behind Neria. His eyes grew wide in horror and it was only then that time seemed to resume its normal pace.

Before Cullen's eyes he saw Nera's lightning attack from her hands snapping at him at eye blinking speeds. In Cullen's shock he couldn't sort his mind fast enough to defend himself properly. Only out of pure instinct he raised his shield in a pitiful attempt to block the attack, but the shield had no magical repelling properties. The attack struck the shield blasting the shield apart like it was nothing more than a piece of parchment. The lightning didn't stop just at the shield; the current ran through his hand and traveled through the rest of his body, which was highly unpleasant with the amount of armor he was wearing. Cullen could only clench his teeth in pain as he struggled to remain conscious through the ordeal. The lightning attack only lasted nearly a second or two, but it felt like an hour of pain had passed. His hand was visibly burned badly, but Cullen could also smell burnt flesh seeping from his body under his armor.

Cullen noticed Neria looked like surprised that he didn't block her attack. Judging by her body language she was uncertain what his intentions were now as her hands hesitated to summon her next spell. Cullen was in just as much disbelief, but not to his failure to block her attack but to the strange voice and its premonition. He had never seen or sensed something so ancient and foreign in the tower. It was not blood magic from what he could tell by its behavior nor was it a demon. Cullen prided himself on being able to recognize demons but what those golden eyes were they could not have been anything a mere human could conjure. Cullen shook his head. There was certainly a lot to think about and now wasn't the time to dwell on it. He hadn't lost anything; he wasn't crushed nor was he destroyed like the voice had predicted so he had time to figure this strange situating out. Right now he had a duel to win.

Without wasting any more time Cullen took the opportunity to take advantage of Neria's shocked state. He leapt forward with his sword high in the air, quickly closing the gap between them in two giant strides. Cullen felt his muscles responded to his command but part of his mind was screaming out in pain due to the damage he had taken in the previous attack. For now he ignored his internal warnings and swung his sword. Neria was a woman and naturally most of her strength rested in her legs. Her arms were her weakness, though they often could be her strength but only if she uses magic.

Neria was quick to defend herself despite her uncertainly. Her staff blocked his sword with ease deflecting it with the fist blow, repelling it with magic. Cullen was quick on the offensive again bring his sword down high again, but this time his fingers on his non-dominate hand snapped, purifying the area and naturalizing any of her magic. The now non-magical staff struggled to repel his blade as the two remained locked together facing each other. Cullen could see Neria was still uncertain of his intentions by the way her eyes shifted nervously, but he could also see her determination to win as she gritted her teeth struggling to hold back his blade.

Somewhere deep in the back of Cullen's mind he wished he could throw the match and return to the quieter days of patrolling the tower, but another part of him revelled in the excitement of battle. That part of him wanted to tear her to pieces, to somehow dominate her in every conceivable way. His feelings were too mixed for him to even understand. The one thing he did understand was he was determine to win now after looking into her eyes and nothing was going to stop him. Not even his feelings for her.

Cullen suddenly dropped the pressure he was putting on his sword and he swept his legs to knock Neria off balance. His tactic worked, but as she fell her hands swept in an arc and the last thing Cullen saw was a bright blinding light. He yelled out in pain as his eyes felt like they were on fire. He stumbled back, but he snapped his fingers again and instantly the area was naturalized of any more magic as a powerful wave emitted from the snap. As Cullen predicted he smelled the scatter remains of a spell in the air, if he hadn't neutralized the area he was certain he would have been struck with another lightning attack. His eyes eased from the pain but the damage was done. He was completely blind. Cullen knew the attack well, it wasn't permanent but it would take several hours before his eyesight would return to normal.

The arena was bustling with noises from the crowd that had been growing larger as the duel progressed. Cullen could hardly hear his own footsteps as he moved around. There were just too many noises to distinguish one source from another. He kept his sword steady as he continued to listen as best he could. His neutralizing attack was about to wear off soon, leaving Neria free to attack with magic again. Cullen was beginning to feel the effects from his templar attacks. His neutralizing attacks took large amounts of his lyrium reserves nearly draining everything he had stored in his body. On a typical day Cullen would only use one attack, but he was pushing it with two attacks. Using a third was going to be impossible unless it was a very small and in a precise area. Even then the attack would only buy him a second at most.

Cullen didn't have a chance to strategize anymore as a sharp pain struck him against the side of his face clipping him across the forehead. He staggered back, but as he did another attack grazed him across his chin like a razor blade. Cullen could feel his own blood gushing from his forehead, the sticky substance oozing down the side of his face. He casually wiped it away with the side of his hand but this gesture wasn't to wipe away the blood it was a bluff. As soon as he did this another attack came buzzing at him, just as he predicted. With a quick snap the attack burst into a gust of air passing gently over him.

Cullen gasped for air as a wave of exhaustion hit him. He couldn't stop the magic fully, but at least he stopped it enough that it was harmless.

"Blast it…" Cullen muttered to himself as blood and sweat was now rolling down his chin and the rest of his body. He needed to end this quickly. The duel had dragged on far too long, but this had also become matter of pride, he was beginning to feel like a fool. He had taken all the damage while Neria was left unscathed.

He straightened himself up to regain some composure. He wouldn't allow this to go on any further. As a templar he could not allow himself to lose to a mage. He remained completely still waiting for a sign from Neria. He didn't need to wait long until he heard it. A distinct high pitch pop sound he had never heard before, but he had noticed in during her last attack. As soon as he heard the sound he leapt forward towards its direction sword raised. As he charged his sword began to glow a faint blue as he poured every last lyrium energy he had in him along with his own physical energy. The blade hissed and sang through the air, slicing through the magical attack with ease. With his energy rapidly dropping after defending the magical attack Cullen made one last lunge forward swing his sword in a downward swipe.

His consciousness began to slip into darkness. His world was spinning out of control, but he heard something that would remain with him in his nightmares for the rest of his life. He heard Neria's death curling scream of pain, but the deed was done. He did his job as a templar. He only hoped that Neria could forgive him for he knew the Maker could not.

* * *

"Gah!" Cullen shouted, shutting his eyes in pain. A bright light had blinded him again, but if also felt like his whole body was on fire. Cullen wasn't sure where he was or how long he had been unconscious, but he had to find Neria. He tried to sit up, but he was instantly pushed back, by a stern but gentle hand.

"Whoa, easy there. Don't want all that work to go to waste," A man said casually keeping pressure on Cullen's chest so he wouldn't sit up again. "This may sting for a moment. Bear with it. Mind your hands; I prefer not to get punched."

What the man claimed as a sting was an understatement in Cullen's opinion. Another jolt of pain ran through him similar to the pain he felt when Neria hit him with her magic. He yelled out unable to keep his voice down, but he remained lying on his back obeying the man's orders.

"That should do it for today," The man said, but before he removed his hand he released a small bit of magic to relax Cullen's muscles.

"Better?" The man asked while Cullen only nodded his head in response. He was still breathing heavily, but the pain had lessened quite a bit. "You can open your eyes. I didn't blind you, what you felt earlier was the repairing process."

Cullen took a deep breath to slow his breathing. Once he felt his body relaxed and lose its tension he rolled his head back against his pillow and slowly opened his eyes. At first everything seemed nothing more than a large white blur, but the more he blinked the more his surroundings began to come in focus.

To his right, Cullen could see the young man that had been treating him. He was washing his hands, but he seemed to sense Cullen's eyes on his back. He immediately tilted his head back with a sly smile. He was a mage, naturally, with long dirty blond hair that was tied in an unkempt knot. A few strands of loose hair hung over his hazel eyes. He was young in Cullen's eyes, but he certainly wasn't a child either.

The mage wiped his hands off on his robes as he returned to Cullen's side. He sat down on one of the bed cots, his head tilted curiously. He was silent for a few seconds leaving Cullen staring at him blankly before he finally spoke up, "Isn't it great that the first thing you see is this?" The man gestured to himself. "Don't take advantage of me now."

Cullen rolled his eyes sighing. He sounded far too much like Mar to the point that he didn't even want to think about comparing the two any further. Cullen glanced around the medical room and realized he was the only one there. He bit his lip in concern, wondering where Neria was. He suspected his wounds were serious enough that the templars insisted he be healed by a mage fully. Often times the templars preferred to allow only a small amount of magic be used on themselves unless the situation was dire. Cullen guessed this was one of those situations. He sighed again and reached up with his hand to touch his head, but before he could the mage caught him gently by the wrist.

"Ah, don't touch that. Your body can only handle so much healing before I start to overtax it. Your head wound has very little healing on it, so it'll be easy to reopen and infect it." The mage for a moment seemed to lose his carefree smile. In response Cullen couldn't help but chuckle.

"So you do know what you're doing."

The man's carefree smile returned as he sat back in his seat, "Well you have to give me some credit, right? Mage or not we are useful."

Cullen raised an eyebrow slightly to his comment, "I did not mean to insinuate I wasn't appreciative of your skill because you're a mage. I apologize if that was the case."

The mage looked slightly surprised before he seemed to cover his expression up quickly with a grin, "Oh, what is this? A Templar that has a soft spot for mage's?"

"Soft spot? Hardly," Cullen said with a slightly snort, "I treat you all like any other person in Ferelden."

The mage laughed again, but his laugh seemed empty hearted, "Like any other person in Ferelden? Except for the fact we shoot sparkles out our fingers and occasionally things living in us. I admit you're amusing. For a templar of course, I've met way more amusing mages."

"Thanks…I think," Cullen wasn't sure if he should press the mage further, but decided he would change the subject instead. "May I ask a question?"

"Stop with that formal talk or I'm going to vomit from the cuteness. If you have a question then ask," the mage said as he leaned back against his hands tossing his hair back.

"You're starting to sound like an annoying templar I know in the barracks who also has a sharp tongue," Cullen said in a slightly annoyed voice.

"That's better! Now ask away," The mage said as he suddenly leapt forward listening to Cullen eagerly.

Cullen suddenly felt embarrassed to even ask his question now as he stuttered to find the right words. He wasn't sure why, but this man made him feel like he was a teenager again, being interrogated by his brothers back at the chantry about when he walked in on one of the sisters changing.

"Er…I…the female mage…" Cullen wanted to rub his face in embarrassment but touching his face was forbidden. Instead he stared at the ground feeling like his face was on fire.

The mage began to laugh so hard he fell straight down onto the ground curled up holding his stomach in laughter. Cullen sat there watching the mage in embarrassment, but a small smile crept to Cullen's face.

"Haha, wow. That was a good laugh. You are indeed amusing," the mage said as he looked up at Cullen from the ground. His hair had become an even bigger mess from rolling around all over the ground. "I knew it! You're trying to ask about the girl. You have good tastes, I tried to hit on her once, but she ignored me."

"You what?"

"So, I take it you want to know if she is ok?" The mage said ignoring Cullen's last comment. Cullen nodded as the mage sat up now. "Well she's doing as well as anyone who was nearly cleaved in half. You both practically fell at the same time during the match so everyone is still arguing on who won. She's on the other side of the room since the whole gender separation thing. In short she'll recover in time just like you."

Cullen let a breath of relief escape his lips, he wanted to jump up and see her but he knew that was impossible. In his joy he smiled brightly to himself, happy she was going to be ok. Of course it was no thanks to him, but Cullen was being selfish in his thoughts and simply savored knowing she was ok. The mage on the ground looked at him inquisitive now. He seemed unsure how to react. Cullen peeked at the mage noticing his silence. "You must think I'm crazy," Cullen said in a soft voice.

"A little," The mage said with a slight smile but as he stood his smile turned to a serious. He seemed almost too pained to look Cullen directly now, "It's rare to see someone here with such true and genuine feelings towards mages. You do care for her….yet you are both at opposite ends fighting against each other."

"We are indeed against each other, but I will try my best to continue caring for it. Even if it's at my expense…." Cullen said in a struggled voice, somehow he felt like he was lying to himself.

"We shall see." The mage said with a shrug. "Do not blame me for being callous. It's just action speaks louder than words. The tower has been stripped of true feelings. We are only left with this," The mage gestured to his face. "A mask and a lie."

"Then I will do my best to prove you otherwise," Cullen offered the mage his hand.

The mage looked at his hand carefully before he shook it, "I look forward to it. By the way…Anders"

"Hmmm?"

"My name is Anders. "

Cullen stared at him blankly feeling like he heard of the name before, but he pushed that thought aside, "A pleasure, you can call me Cullen. Listen…I-" but before Cullen could say anything more he was interrupted by another voice. Ander's and Cullen both broke their handshakes as they looked to see who it was.

"This mage," a female templar said as if the word was some sort of despicable illness, "is the one that keeps escaping the tower. He's been restricted to solitary confinements. However, since we are short on healing talent we had to bring him down here. I would not advice to get too close to him Ser Cullen. This one has quite a mouth on him."

Ander's was silent and kept his face expressionless, but Cullen noticed his fingers twitch in annoyance. Cullen knew this female Templar. She was in charge to guard the more problematic mages and was known to be callous and equally brutal in her treatment towards mages.

"I thank you on the warning, but it is not needed, Rylock. I assume you are here to take Ander's back for the night?" Cullen said in his normal tone of voice he used when addressing other templars, it was a tone of respect.

Rylock narrowed her eyes slightly in suspicion. She seemed like she was expecting something, but Cullen ignored her gaze for now. He was tired and didn't feel like dabbling in templar politics. "You are correct," she finally said after a tense moment.

"Then I bid you both a goodnight," Cullen smiled to them both the best he could. Rylock snorted and waited for Anders to move.

Anders on the other hand seemed reluctant to move. Something about the way he stood seemed like he wanted to lash out at Rylock with everything he had. Cullen had seen it enough times to pick up on the subtle body language. Rylock also seemed to pick up on Ander's unwillingness; Cullen saw her moving for her sword. Without giving away too much, Cullen gestured with his eyes towards Neria side of the room. In hopes that maybe Ander's would reconsider his actions and tend to her instead.

Ander's stared at him for a moment before his body began to relax suddenly with a sigh, "I guess this is good night. I'll be back in the morning to tend to your wounds," Ander's turned to Rylock. "I'd like to check on the woman before we leave." Ander's smirked to Rylock devilishly, "I know how much you want to lock me up in chains for the night, but let us make this small little detour."

"Silent your tongue and be quick," Rylock said as she began to push Ander's towards the other side of the room once he walked passed her.

"Don't stay up too late!" Ander's yelled, leaving Cullen wondering what he meant.

* * *

"…_In your darkest hour summon me." _

Cullen sat up in his bed in a cold sweat his chest heaving for a breath. It was late in the tower, judging how low the flames on the torches had lessened in the room.

"Those golden eyes…" Cullen muttered to himself. Of course it was only a nightmare, but something about those golden eyes filled him with dread. He felt an ominous power from them that was too foreign for his mind to comprehend. It was a frightening feeling that Cullen wished he could forget.

"Nightmare?" a soft voice said from the shadows of a nearby bed.

Cullen blinked a few times staring into the shadows until his eyes adjusted to the darkness, "Neria?"

"Yes," Neria said as she slid off the bed quietly. She bowed her head slightly apologetically to Cullen. "I'm sorry for prying. It wasn't my intentions. When I arrived you were asleep and I was about to leave until you started thrashing about. I figured you would awake soon."

Cullen resisted the urge to rub his face since his wounds were still healing and he didn't want to be berated by Anders in the morning about reinjuring them. Instead he shyly started at the ground occasionally glancing up to her. "It's alright it has been a long day…" When Cullen glanced back to Neria he noticed she was slumped against the bedside. Her head hung low, hiding her face as she seemed to be struggling to remain on her feet. Cullen quickly got out of his bed and gently took her arm.

"Neria, you're still very ill and weak from your wounds. Even your skin is cold," Cullen was concerned about her wellbeing and contemplated calling for Anders. Before he could think any further about the situation Neria's knees buckled and she reached out and grasped him by his shoulders. Cullen was quick to grab her by her waist to support her. "Neria? Are you ok?" Cullen looked down at her face and noticed the color had nearly drained completely out of it. "You're so pale, you need to rest. Let's get you back to your bed."

Cullen was about to assist her back to her bed, but suddenly Neria grabbed both sides of his face in her hands and directed his gaze towards her. Her eyes were the only thing that had color in her pain stricken face. Those two emerald eyes stunned him silent as crystal clear tears began to spill from them and roll down her icy cheeks.

"Forgive me…" Neria said between sobs. "I couldn't stop it from happening. They forced me to fight you. If I didn't they were going to do horrible things to us both. I couldn't let them punish you for my deed."

Cullen was speechless. How could she blame herself like this? She had done nothing wrong besides being born a mage…but was the really wrong? And what about him? He had quietly obeyed orders, yet Neria fought against it. He was the one to apologize, not her. His cowardice had put them in this situation. If he was stronger to endure his own feelings he would take her away and protect her, but deep down he couldn't go against the Templars. He wasn't ready to face the consequences nor was he sure if his feelings were enough to justify his selfish desires.

Cullen couldn't find the words to speak, but he didn't really need to at that moment. Neria had pulled herself up to his level while she gripped his shoulders and caught his lips within her own. His eyes grew wide in surprise and he hadn't realize he had his head lowered just enough for her to achieve this. Cullen felt like his mind beginning to become a haze. He couldn't focus on what he was doing or what was happening to him. He could feel his hands unconsciously press against Neria's lower back. His mouth responded without thought as he return her kiss shyly. Everything about what he was doing was wrong though. He shouldn't touch her, he didn't have that right. Yet the forbidden nature of it drove his instinct even further. It wasn't long before he was lost in his own confused feelings.

* * *

By the time Cullen felt his mind returning to him he found himself back in his bed staring up at the ceiling. Did he imagine that entire incident or did it really happen?

"So, what did I miss last night?" Ander's suddenly said at the foot of his bed.

Cullen's head snapped in his direction when he suddenly realized that Neria was asleep with him nude. Her clothes were scattered all over the ground as if they were taken off in haste. Cullen started at the clothes in horror as he struggled to say something. But he couldn't and merely stared at Anders in complete shock.


End file.
